This one is for Monike
I know this amazing girl
Her name is Monike
I have never met such a glowing spirit
as bright as hers
When you look into her eyes you can see
an ageless soul more solid than diamond
Monike isn't feeling very well
She leads an extraordinary life only a few dare imagine
Teetering between here and the next
Defiantly brave and she always fights on
The day she came into my life
Was the day an angel touched me
Fulltime Friend
And I thought I had lost her for good...
But on the 9th day of March, I mustered enough courage to pick up the phone and dialled her number.
An automatic message greeted me; "the number you have dialled is no longer active or has been disconnected".
Oh great...
Just as I was about to give up I remembered a number which I had saved in a fluke of a moment.
Nothing to lose... I dialled and it rang.
It was the worse 10 seconds of anxiety in my life, not knowing what to say if it was really her on the other line, or how she would react.
She picked it up finally. And a flood of relief came through as she sounded happy to hear from me too.
We picked it up from where we left off. As if I had just seen her yesterday.
She was as warm as she's ever been. My best friend, my trusted pal, someone who's seen and fought the war too.
I seriously thought I had lost you too.
I wouldn't know what to do, if that ever happens
But for now...
Yokata ne...
Way of The Samurai ...
On the 23rd day of the month of February I was introduced to a game.
Samurai Dou II.
Eversince, I have been playing non stop.
I have become a cold blooded killer/sword-maniac.
The infamous man from Amakaze, with a pair of black tsukas kodachi.
For those of you who have not yet known this game. Shame on you!
This is a bloody good game. It's available on Playstation 2:
Way of The Samurai 2
Just a projected image
Just today on MSN, I met a schoolmate I haven't talked to for a while.
She asked how I was doing.
I said, fine as usual. Moving on to a new job.
She asked again, how I find the new job.
Tough, frankly I don't know how I'm gonna make it exactly.
To which she replied with semi mock confidence;
ahhh if it's you, I wouldn't worry. You always come out great.
But...
I'm sure I'm just your average jane.
I can't work miracles, if I do it'd usually take me twice as long as anyone would.
Strange how almost everyone sees this projected image of me,
glowing in glamour and astute.
As if I do everything with ease. As if I live in the land of the perfect.
I certainly do not intend;
to delude myself with this nonsense.
On masochists ...
Sometimes I think all accountants must be masochists.
At 5 years old they would rather make business plans than draw sun flowers with their fellow kindergarden mates.
During high school they strive to be number one rank for maths and physics.
At uni they take the hardest and scariest business subjects and beg for extra honorary work.
As an undergrad they fight teeth and nails to get employed with airheads in big cut throat corporations just so they get what they believe as extra qualification.
Two years just into their new job, they voluntarily sign up for more extreme painful lobotomies as they enroll in post graduate studies in some snob institution.
At 25 they all aspire to becoming senior managers of the Financial Services Division, which is just the fancy word for premature-ageing-and-stress-related-death-syndrome-due-to-work-conditions.
At 30 they sacrifice quality time with friends and family, ignore their spouses for months, bury themselves in paperwork and extra time at work, just so next year they get invited into partnership with the firm.
At 35 they get depressed, as the firm they work so hard for decide to retrench them in favour of younger more self-inflicting-pain-obsessed accounting undergraduates.
Am I seeing my future?
Or.... I can start doing some sun flower painting today and maybe read a book or two about Japanese kimonos.
Back from my Sabbatical
I left my job last Friday, as my contract came to an end.
"You're finally closing another chapter in your life." he said with a smile as we drove out of work for my last time.
Sad? Happy? ... A bit of mixed feelings.
Sad that I was leaving a familiar comfort zone, into another big bad world.
Happy that I accomplished what I had set out to do and exceeded people's expectation.
The new job I got lined up next fortnight: sleek suits, laptops, better pay, limelight, glamour and city life.
A countryside-lover girl like me, will I ever fit in? Probably not.
But when ambition and greed take over, there is nothing stopping me.
I want to be someone whom others can depend on.
Cyberwise, I'm back from my 3 months sabbatical.
This break is so good cause I get to catch up on a lot of laziness and time wasting indonesian celebrity gossips.
The blog I abandoned I have rebuilt and its now open to public like toilets in train stations.
Credit cards... I used to take pride in the fact that I do not need one to survive suburban life with scores of its discount factory outlets.
But lately, all the stuff I want to purchase over the net have put me on the edge.
More to come later,
as I get sober.
